I became incredibly curious about gender and how people presented their ideals of the gender they identified with at an early age. When I reached adulthood I experimented with gender bending in the bedroom and in everyday life. To me it was a game, a set of costumes and an experiment rolled into one: I could dress and act more feminine or masculine and observe the way people would act towards me. At one point I became so comfortable in my drag I would surprise my friends when I would decide to dress in more feminine clothing, or if I went the whole nine yards with makeup, dresses and heels.
These days in the dungeon occasionally being called “Sir” or “Daddy” gives me a powertrip, playing with idealized traits that make up a man instead of seduction and more feminine wiles on my subjects is refreshing and keeps me on my toes. It revealed to me a variety of traits that my subjects appreciate in the archetypes of Father, Hero and Villain. Some sought the strength and caring they missed feeling as a child, others wanted to feel overwhelmed by a masculine superior without any of the sensuality typically associated with female archetypes in BDSM play.
Often I get requests from men wanting me to teach them how to dress and act like a woman, wanting to know how it feels to move like women do, to spend time on their appearance, to be seen as beautiful and polished as well as enjoy the transformational ritual many women take for granted daily before going to work or out with friends or lovers – Makeup, shoes, hair, nails, underwear and lingerie, perfume. Small details that add up in the presentation of an ideal female. Cross dressing and gender bending allow these men to experience the mask of ideals women wear just as cross dressing allowed me to experience the mask of ideals men present in their daily lives.