Have you or one of your friends ever had a relationship or break-up in the age of social media? Was a social network part of the problem? Let me count the ways you can truly screw it up via social media. This goes for Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and any other place you connect your personal life with your online persona.
1. Assuming
Any or every guy/girl your partner knows, must have been intimate with them. Alternatively, anyone who is posting or has posted on your lover's page must want to get down. No! Don't assume your love interest is welcoming advances that you see posted on their pages. This can't be said enough: Communicate. Directly.
2. Reading personal messages
Don't do that, there is no point. Put yourself in your partner's shoes, would you want them reading your personal messages out of context? Trust is huge in relationships and when trust is gone there is no point in snooping, just move on and keep your integrity intact.
3. Oh, you're in a relationship now?
A friend of mine had a guy she was seeing in Northern California post a new relationship status with a woman she didn't know about from San Diego. That did not end well.
4. Don't check in when you're trying to check out
In my opinion location check-ins in general are a bad idea. Don't check in at your new friend's place when you're trying to make a clean break with your ex. Also, I recommend never checking in when you're hanging out with someone else's boo, even if it's just dinner and a foot-rub. You are pretty much giving them fuel (information) and a match (location) to incite a problem.
5. Don't pretend to be someone you're not
Catfishing rarely ends well, and pretending to be someone you're not online can be downright creepy. Love yourself and accept yourself and be authentic. My wish is for everyone to feel good about themselves so that they can be authentic and responsible on the internet. Especially when it comes to 'relationships'.
6. The graph
With the introduction of Facebook graph searches people can easily find out exactly how hypocritical you really are. For example your spouse 'likes' Ashley Madison (a website for cheating) maybe they should keep it on the down low? Check out these "8 Hilarious Facebook Graph Searches" for more crazy examples.
7. More on changing relationship status
Similar to tattoos, relationship statuses on Facebook are pretty much forever (check your Activity Log and they will all still be there, you can 'hide' them, but can you delete them?) and they are not easily covered up. When you change from "in a relationship" to "single" each of your friends will get a notification and a chance to comment "what happened?!" If you don't want the whole world to know your status, just leave this question blank in the first place. Check out: How to Change Your Facebook Relationship Status Without Alerting Friends
8. Third parties
Even if you think being social media friends with your lovers and exes isn't a problem, you may be inadvertently exposing new people to bad old blood. Remember in Facebook land when you comment on a new friend's page with a funny and witty post everyone of your 'friends' will have a chance to read it. The result? Your ex DMs to let me know that you probably gave me herpes too...Even though we just work together.
9. Not responding to messages, but updating social statuses
This is bound to piss off any stalker -- I mean, overprotective lover. If you're trying to avoid someone, make sure you are not putting yourself on blast at the same time. This includes 'likes' in most social networks, which are usually publicized to friends and followers indiscriminately.
10. Oversharing
There are some things your friends really don't want to see, especially if you are posting detailed semi explicit information and photos on a regular basis. Bottom line, it gets old and if you might consider going back to delete it later you might as well not post it in the first place. "Being in a relationship on Facebook shouldn’t mean your WHOLE relationship is on Facebook!" via In A Relationship On Facebook? Here's How To Be Cool About It.
11. Photos
Call me superstitious, but I feel like as soon as I post a photo of myself with a more serious love interest everything starts to go wrong. From the two pictures I have left up of me and a former lover on Facebook, I have received inquiries from another (now blocked) 'friend' asking: "Did you and x have sex?" Um. Nunya! But those are the perils of our social world: If it's out there people think it's their business to see, lear, comment on and assume. Go back to #1: just don't do it!
I hope you're able to learn from other's mistakes and take caution when your next relationship takes place on and off line.
